21 1 / 2013
What I’m Reading
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (and Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling
I get a little weird about memoirs. They are kind of a 50/50 shot in my opinion, (Tina Fey’s Bossypants, awesome. Sloane Crosley’s I Thought There’d Be Cake, meh. Lena Dunham’s leaked book proposal, hysterical and I love her.) However, I thoroughly enjoyed this and Ms. Kaling did not disappoint. I’m still impressed that she was writing for The Office at 24. The girl wrote what is, to this day, my favorite TV episode of all time (Niagara Part 2). The whole part about “Plan B was the chapel, Plan C was the boat and Plan A? Plan A was to ask her to marry me the first day I met her.”
Fine, you win, writers. You are killing me with that.
Like I said, the book didn’t disappoint. Here’s one of my favorite parts:
“Unlike other athletes, Frisbee people won’t let it go. My theory is that this is because there’s a huge overlap between people who are good at Frisbee and people who do Teach for America. The same instinct to make at-risk kids learn, which I admire so much, becomes deadly when turned on friends trying to relax on a Sunday afternoon in the park.” (pg. 24)
06 1 / 2013
This is why we shop Craigslist, folks…
Roommate: I dropped salsa on the white couch!
Me: Eh.
Roommate: (scrubbing with a Tide stick)
Me: It’s not that big of a deal…don’t worry about it.
Roommate: But I don’t want it to leave a spot.
Me: Haven’t we already flipped that cushion already?
Roommate: Yep. Candle ash on the other side.
Me: Dang.
23 12 / 2012
What I’m Reading
Aliens Love Panta Claus by Claire Freedman and Ben Cort
Highbrow, this is not. If you want classic, then maybe Polar Express is more your jive. But I’m telling you, if Salvador Dali’s mustache is funny to a 7 year old, then aliens helping Santa give out underpants all over the world is just hysterical.
If you have a last-minute gift you need for a kid. This will do for sure. Because the moral of the story here is that everyone finds underpants funny. Everyone.
29 11 / 2012
Just Tell Me Yes.
Dinner tonight: hunk of store-bought oatmeal cookie dough, orange soda, pita chips.
I ate junk in my teens and loved it. I’m eating crap in my twenties and at least feel guilty for it. Thirties makes it all better and I stop regarding slices of hatch chile pepper jack cheese as a legit meal, yes?
27 11 / 2012
Well, That’s About Right. Kind of.
Sometimes I play a Pandora station on my phone when I’m working before school starts. You know, to make the whole arriving-at-school-at-6:30 thing more bearable. I mean, yes, it’s by choice, but still….6:30 is still in the dark AFTER DAYLIGHT SAVINGS.
I work in my room for a while and eventually as 7:45 comes around, my kids come in and eat breakfast and do their morning work. One day last week, I started reading to them (Ziggy and the Black Dinosaurs, in case you were wondering) and suddenly a student’s hand shoots up in the air “Ms. Begnaud! MS. BEGNAUD! um…uh….Something is wrong over here!”
“What?”
“There’s this REALLY WEIRD noise that’s coming from your desk. It’s SO WEIRD and kinda scary. What’s wrong with your desk? Fiiiiiiiiix iiiiiiiiit.”
I walk over, see my phone that I forgot to put in my desk.
“Oh honey, those aren’t scary noises. That’s just Bon Iver.”
25 11 / 2012
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
I read a book! A whole book! And nowhere in this book was there a 7 year old, or the phrase “achievement gap” or “differentiation.” It was a beautiful thing.
I don’t normally read suspense/thrillers because I do not like suspense of any kind. I work very hard to avoid suspense in my life. So hard, in fact, that I avoided all media outlets on election day. Watching the votes slooowly pour in would result in nothing but a good old fashioned hand-wringing. So I avoided. I blissfully woke up the next morning, googled, and then went about my day. I’m planning this approach for every election day of my life. Vote early. Google late.
But Gone Girl? This book is suspenseful. Told from two points of view (husband and wife) I spent the whole book going back and forth between “stop making stupid mistakes, fictional characters” and “no, really, what the heck is going on here?”
Not my normal style, but it’s a good one. Totally engrossing and perfect for holiday reading so you really can tune out the “so who’d you vote for?” and “what’s up with you and That Boy From Pennsylvania?” questions.
Just kidding. I had a lovely holiday and I hope you did, too.
19 11 / 2012
Bonding Moment with Eyebrow Guru
I haven’t been keeping up with Eyebrow Guru all that much, not as much as I should. My 2nd graders will tell me when they think my jewelry is weird or when my hair actually looks good, but somehow they keep their opinions about my unibrow to themselves. And this Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for that….2nd graders and their politeness to the unibrowed.
But I went today and after Guru made her normal comments “Long time!” “Can’t see your face!” “It’s like I’m giving you haircut so much hair is coming out of your face!” “So much better now…” a teenage girl came in to get some threading done to her face. You guys, she went for the upper lip her first time in a hardcore threading salon. Of all the bad choices a 16 year old girl could make, this one is pretty mild, but a mistake nonetheless.
And as she settled into the chair she asked, “Oh it doesn’t hurt, right? I heard you can’t feel anything, like so much better than waxing or something.” (picture Cerie from 30 Rock)
Through the rivers of tears coming out of my eyes, Guru and I made eye contact and had ourselves a nice little laugh. A chair-shaking, we-should-really-keep-it-down-over-here kind of laugh. Sure, darling, you can’t feel a thing.
Guru and I bonded. And of course, it made me love her more.
15 11 / 2012
Uncovering Cultural Differences
Me: If our children could be Olympic athletes at any sport, what would you want it to be?
Tyler: Hockey, of course.
Me: And what if it’s a girl?
Tyler: Hockey, of course.
03 10 / 2012
Let’s Play a Super Fun Game…
…called “How Children Spell My Name”
Beguna
Begnangno
Beagneao
Begno
Begneno
Beagneao
Begnow
Beganud
Begnon
And, yes, I have written documentation of each of these spellings.
24 9 / 2012
I feel ya, Tom Haverford
“Man, this is stressful. I picked the wrong week to do a juice cleanse.” -Tom Haverford, my favorite Parks and Rec character (obvs).
Which, relatedly in a very obscure way, is exactly how I feel about recently signing up for a personal finance class. It’s through my church and Tyler took the same class in Philly back in the spring. I knew he wanted me to take the class. He didn’t have to say it. The box with all the materials arrived on my doorstep.
“If this isn’t love, I don’t know what is,” I told him after leaving my first class. “I mean, I’m having to sit down for an hour and a half every week and talk about disgusting things like budget and debt and EMERGENCY FUNDS FOR GOODNESS’ SAKE.” But I’ll have you know, he finds budgeting and planning skills to be very attractive in me. Done.
But it’s just like the second you decide to go paleo, all you want is bread and cheese, topped with more cheese, with a side of a cinnamon roll. All I want is to spend a little money….
On these:
And maybe these books on Amazon because I spend just as much in late fees at the library.
And, mums to sit beside my front door. Because I’m 25 and I have a salary and I feel like I should do something domestic/nesting-ish, and buying mums seems like a reasonable step in that direction.
In conclusion, I would like to spend money but I’m not doing it.
21 9 / 2012
8:45 pm
A neighbor just knocked on my door and handed me a small plate of smoked salmon. You know, just because.
I love my weird little building.
In Tampa, Sam and I awkwardly nodded at our neighbors if we passed them on the narrow stairs. It wasn’t that we didn’t like them. We just didn’t even know them. We were too busy frying bacon for dinner on a Tuesday. Just because. (I miss that girl).
But now? Ever since moving in here, my neighbors have been so… friendly. (I mean, is that what we call it when they refer to us as “our little girls?”) They repot my plants and water them for me if I’m gone too long. They sweetly asked how school is going last year (still thinking that I was 19), and celebrated with me when I got my job. It’s weird, for sure, but when the power went out in the middle of the night a few weeks ago, I carried a candle upstairs and sat out on the balcony with all of them and watched the rain and we collectively complained about not having AC.
All last year, I thought “how did end up here….in Arkansas….where people say ‘deer woods’ and everyone all the time forever and ever asks me if I’m watching THE GAME this saturday”
This year, I question it less, and enjoy it all a whole lot more.
16 9 / 2012
Thing I Love Right Now
The Mindy Project.
Let’s discuss…
It’s smart. It’s funny. And it is ridiculous. Every show I find enjoyable is a combination of at least two out of those three qualities. Downtown Abbey? Smart and ridiculous (as in, it’s ridiculous how engaging it is). The Trash I Watch on Bravo? Funny and ridiculous (with an extra side quality of shame/guilt). 30 Rock and Parks and Recreation are a combination of all three. Which is exactly what The Mindy Project is. And all three equal awesomeness.
It’s also a show about a smart, ridiculous woman that says out loud the entire running commentary that’s in my head every day. I actually work hard to quell my urges to express how I think a spin class would indeed “move my life forward.” Because, ya know what? It probably would. Instead, I keep my mouth shut and sign up for a financial class on Monday nights.
I also googled Mindy Kaling a bit….. she started writing for The Office at 24. Twenty-freaking-four.
That’s all I’m going to say.
Watch the pilot on hulu.
Wait, one last thing…. Thanks to The Mindy Project I get to say “I’m Saandra Bulloooock!” to myself several times a day. After you watch, you will, too.
04 9 / 2012
For The Curious
You know what my classroom’s decorative theme is this year? It’s called “Why Yes I Do Love The Internet From Whence All Ideas Come and I Definitely Know How to Wield a Hot Glue Gun Like a Boss.”
That’s a theme, you guys. Found it on Pinterest.
My favorite thing? Is the retractable extension cord that pulls down from the ceiling. I want one in EVERY ROOM I occupy. Forever.
Special thanks to Stacey and Marco, for donating hours of their lives to sorting counting blocks. And to a sweet girl who spent a ton of time making all those tissue poms for her wedding and I am now reaping the benefit of all her hard work. And to Ikea, for having an As Is section, which is where I bought those white chairs for super cheap and it makes me feel less weird about them almost certainly turning brown by Thanksgiving.
